Six Questionable Steps - Dealing With HIV Positively
So, you have HIV, or maybe you know someone who does. I know this was not on your “To Do” List. You didn’t pencil in a life altering event. You now find yourself looking up at a cliff stretching a mile high, holding the rope for someone climbing the side or, perhaps, you’re climbing the cliff yourself. Your mind is racing, with one thought pulling up to the finish line; “I don’t think I can handle this…”
With a firm slap on the bottom we have been given the keys to the fine piece of organic machinery we like to call the human body, along with a license to accessories. We can pierce, tone, tan, and tattoo. Add grills, apply oils and wax rogue hairs in one ripping motion. All this at the push of a brain button. However, first we have to go through a series of decisions to get the right look and feel for ourselves.
I like to think of making these decisions as building a computer program. We’ll use a fun computer language to illustrate my point. We’ll use Java (because I like coffee) for our computer programming endeavour. We’ll call this endeavour the “Decathlon” program. The Decathlon Program is unique in that it requires a high level of user self-awareness and expertise to achieve optimal results, as the program is incompatible with the majority of anti-virus software. Although there is some tech support available, outright misuse can result in a full system shut down. Awareness is always the newest version of our software. The beauty of this program is that it is customized to fit your needs, and all it takes is a little bit of discipline and a few more minutes of your time.
Now then, what steps can you take to get yourself on the road to climbing this cliff? There are approximately six steps that anyone facing this cliff should take into consideration. You may choose to add additional steps, or take out a step or two depending on what works for you, but the original six are as follows.
Step One: “Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept it…”
The first step towards having a positive attitude about this “cliff” is to have the wildest tantrum that you can muster up. You are entitled to this, so go for it! Forget about your dignity and don’t bottle anything up. Punch every single sofa cushion you can find, kick your carpet, and vandalize your bicycle. If you have pieces of clothing you loath this is the day to rip them up. Pretend your eyes are sprinklers, and let it rip. Whatever you do exhaust your rage, and make it something Diana Ross would be proud off. When you’re done, take a moment. Take in a few deep breaths. Repeat the whole process as necessary.
Step Two: The War Room
Clear off your dinning room table. Wallpaper the living room with blank paper and find a big marker. You are going to create a layout of the battlefield and take inventory of your supplies. Do you know what the secondary response of your immune system is to a foreign substance? Why your lymph nodes are located where they are? For that matter, can you describe what HIV is? If you answered no to any of these questions, you need to procure information, STAT! You have to know what you’re dealing with, and you have to know what your resources are. This is non-negotiable. You cannot be in a fight without sizing up your opponent, and yourself while you’re at it, so get to work. Go to the library, surf the net. Ask your doctor about where you can get more information and if there are any groups you can join to share ideas. Be pro-active, find out what you need to know.
Step Three: The Committee
Shortly after becoming an “expert” on the topic the next step is to structure your Social Committee. This is not to be mistaken with a Sympathy Committee. No, the Social Committee consist of those people that you associate with late night phone calls because so and so cheated and now it’s time to exact a clever and whimsical revenge. A herd of goats on the front lawn perhaps. So take out your little black book, agenda, PDA, or what have you and compile a list of people who will help you laugh, cry and love your life again.
Step Four: Build A Champion
I begin the next leg of our journey with a man. His name is Ihab. Sure, it’s not a very sexy name but allow me to describe. He is about 5′11″, has auburn skin and the most gorgeous body you will ever see. Beautifully toned. He’s a body building champion in my province, and works out every day, only drinks milk and fears junk foods like most people fear the apocalypse.
I bring up Ihab to illustrate a point. Ihab has a goal, and while his methods of going about this goal may seem drastic to some people, he knows what it takes to succeed and has come to enjoy his methods for reaching those goals. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve tried to get him drunk, he has always responded with a melodic “No”. Who would willingly turn down the smooth taste of a cold beer on a hot summer day? Who would do that? Ihab would, that’s who. His methods may seem masochistic for those of us who have avoided the nutritional food guide like the plague, but now they are second nature to him, and the rewards are that people like me will swoon over him…and he’s not lacking in calcium intake either. Your body is going to become your most important ally in your new challenge, and so it should be treated with respect. This means that making the right nutritional choices will be a major part of your strategy, and the intensity of your commitment will be reflected all over your body.
“You have to be uncompromised in your level of commitment to whatever you are doing, or it can disappear as fast as it appeared.” -Michael Jordan
Now let’s get clear on this. I’m not saying turn into a bodybuilding milk drinker, or get a nice tan. What I am saying is that you have a choice to make. You have to choose whether you will have your body work with you, or will you be working to repair the damage. Two very different mentalities. Working with your body implies having a team-mate, someone that listens to your thoughts and whom you have to listen to in order to make this program work. Working to repair damages puts you on the defensive. You’re waiting for something to happen so you can react to it.
You’ve been put into a unique position. The potential you have within you is untapped. People can accomplish marvellous things if they put their minds to it.
Step Five: Clean Up The Place
On a trip to Peru I drove along the coast to a small town called Marcona where my uncle and his family live. Along the way my uncle’s mother, and I saw some very tiny houses. The people who owned them were obviously poor, but nonetheless, they took the time to paint their homes and some even had potted plants. As we were driving by the houses my aunt turns to me and says “You see, even though they live out here they still paint their homes and buy their stuff.” Her point: Just because your life isn’t ideal there is no reason to live in a pigsty.
Living in a well-kept environment free of clutter is beneficial not only to your physical health, but also to your mental wellbeing. Clean out the fish tank, balance your chequebook, and sweep behind the stove. Make your living environment a place where you, and your guests, actually want to spend some time in.
Step Six: Become A Member Again
Contribute to the community. As a person facing this challenge you see things from a different perspective, and that puts you at an advantage. Continue to gather information from people who’ve been there, and see what works for them. At the same time, share your perspective. You are in an interesting place in life, and will probably have a great impact if you use your resourcefulness wisely.
Pick the stuff that works for you and make up your own program. Have fun with it just as long as the prime beneficiary is you.
Think of it this way…you are a self-aware decathlete now. It’s all about you!
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